I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
