OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
