Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
