yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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