They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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