forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
