he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
