chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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