Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
