I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
