I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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