He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
