I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
