...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
