Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
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I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I need water and some morals
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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