Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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