suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
