wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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