I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
