i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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