If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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