I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
