Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Non-Jews are for practice
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
