If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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