i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Quick, to the slutcave!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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