if i died would you start the facebook group?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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