i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
