she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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