Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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