out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
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His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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