I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
