I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i wish my penis had a tongue
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize