This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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