I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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