OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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