is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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