ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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