hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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