I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
