doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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