Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
