We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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