She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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