**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
