sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
