nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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