I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
