There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
