it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
