there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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