i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
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I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
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those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it