3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i think im in europe. pls send help
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
