Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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