i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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