I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
