some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
