One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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