It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
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Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
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You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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