Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
