I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
