So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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