He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
only you would photoshop your dick
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
